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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438494">Not Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shazzledazzle/pseuds/Shazzledazzle'>Shazzledazzle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Untamed: Fatal Journey, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fatal Journey gave me life but also sadness, Ficlet, Hint of NMJ/NZH, I'm sorry NHS I love you, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:15:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>526</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shazzledazzle/pseuds/Shazzledazzle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>You were my life. But I wasn’t yours. </i> <br/>A small dose of SangHui angst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to The Untamed/MDZS for consuming my life and pushing me to write for the first time in YEARS. </p>
<p>This is my first Ao3 post, it's taken me a while to feel confident enough to fling something out there but here we are! </p>
<p>The title is from a song by <a href="https://youtu.be/4YmFmM2eihU"><b>DAY6</b></a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The saber came down with frightening force, and Nie Huaisang wanted to scream. The flute dropped from his shaking fingers, useless. He was useless. The tomb tore and crumbled around him, in his chest the cracks matched and formed a heavy, hollow space. </p>
<p><br/>
~</p>
<p><br/>
“Gege, look! What do you think? “ </p>
<p><br/>
The fan flickered briefly as Nie Huaisang brought it up to his face, a proud expression peering from behind. </p>
<p><br/>
The design, now dried and treated , portrayed a scene of flowing waterfalls and jagged rocks, twisting and beautiful branches weaving out of frame. The deep blacks and soft creams merged and matched perfectly with the robes Huaisang was wearing. The soft brown strands of his fringe wafted gently back and for under the breeze of it.</p>
<p><br/>
Zonghui studied the sight and smiled approvingly, “ it’s one of your best, Second Young Master, without a doubt. You are improving each day.”</p>
<p><br/>
Huaisang’s face lit up brightly at the flattery. He didn’t care if Zonghui felt compelled to say these things because of his brother or his position, he enjoyed them all the same. </p>
<p><br/>
Smiling wide he snapped the fan closed and knelt to search through his table of brushes and ink, scattered parchment swept aside as he found what he was looking for.</p>
<p><br/>
“Gege, I know you don’t use them, but I thought well... “ he picked up another, smaller hand fan from the pile and rushed over, “ it might be a nice decoration for your room perhaps?” </p>
<p><br/>
Zonghui looked surprised but reached for the fan, it’s colours contrasting dark greens and soft golds, a hanging black tassel attached to the base. It was a beautiful little thing. A lot like Nie Huaisang himself. </p>
<p><br/>
There was a knock at the door and Zonghui turned, his hand pulled back. The servant outside bowed and looked apologetic at the interruption.</p>
<p><br/>
“Sir, Sect Leader Nie is requesting your presence, it is regarding the matter with the tomb.”</p>
<p><br/>
Zonghui's expression hardened and he nodded. He turned to bow, pretending not to see the sadness in Nie Huaisang's eyes.</p>
<p><br/>
“Second Young Master, I’m sorry I cannot accept your gift this time, your brother –“</p>
<p><br/>
“Of course it’s ... Go to Dage I understand.”</p>
<p><br/>
The door had closed behind him and Huaisang held onto the fan, watching the space he’d stood in with a sigh. </p>
<p><br/>
~</p>
<p><br/>
Nie Huaisang buried the memories as deep as he could and steeled himself. For his brother he had to do this.</p>
<p><br/>
 He spoke then, his voice threatening to crack, but remained steady. <br/>
“It was... The saber spirit that killed him.”</p>
<p><br/>
The noise that wrenched itself from within Nie Mingjue was gutting and all consuming. His knees buckled but Huaisang caught him before he dropped. He held his brother and swallowed the guilt. It felt bitter in his throat. No right. He had no right to feel it. This was his brothers pain. But he felt it anyway, more than anything. </p>
<p><br/>
<em>You were my life. But I wasn’t yours. </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
~</p>
<p><br/>
On the wall in his room hung a beautiful green and gold fan, pride of place, front and centre. His masterpiece. His most prized. A tribute to a love that never was, and never would be. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want hit me up on <a href="https://twitter.com/Shazzledazzlee"><span class="u">twitter</span></a> or <a href="https://mathiasandthefinntrolls.tumblr.com/"><span class="u">tumblr</span></a></p>
<p>*circus music*</p>
<p>Kudos and comments appreciated ♥️😊</p></blockquote></div></div>
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